CDT Day 23 (6/10/23)

Zero miles

Verbatim

I saw Tim and Isai today at church and that was really wonderful. Tim brightens my day instantly, and is so easy to be around. He stayed for the beginning of song service at CW and sang next to me. That was so so beautiful. The drummer and bassist were really enjoyable to listen to together. I miss my LaSierra life and people. It makes me sad to think that part of my life was so shunned and scoffed at by L. She was always afraid of it. She always felt like she didn’t belong I feel. That’s really frustrating. But seeing Tim and Isai made existing in that ecosystem was really wonderful. I could be happy working and spending time there. As a single person, however, there are probably better things for me to do.

After church we went home and saw a bit of Manchester City winning the Champions League final. That was fun. We ate Mexican. After we went home and rested and then went to Murrietta for a hike. The hike was tucked away behind some business park stuff. It was cool to see him know his own town and city.

After that we went to SD and stayed in a hotel. That was nice. I fell asleep instantly. As I’m writing this I’m back at the Cuban Cafe. It’s so good to be back on trail.

Post Note

Yeah I’m just gonna start my saying its definitely my fault and responsibility to make sure my partner feels welcome in my worlds. I didn’t do a great job of that with L. No complaints here anymore. My bad.

The reality that I live in such complex and different “worlds” has always been challenging for me to manage. For instance, I grew up in Maine. I went to university in California. Those are on opposite corners of the United States. I grew up Seventh-day Adventist but most of my closest friends are post-Christian. I am also post-Christian (that’s a limiting generalization, but I’ll settle for it for now), but want to work in highly charged religious settings. Or at least work with people engaging the inherent spirituality of the world. It doesn’t have to be “religious” I suppose. My post-Christian friends wonder why I don’t move on and my religious friends wonder why “I don’t believe in Jesus” or some crap like that.

Taking a friend from Maine into California has always been difficult. And returning to Maine from California can also be quite challenging. Coming back from a thruhike is disorienting. So many people I know from so many places and then you ask them to meet and appreciate each other and how each of them is true to a portion of me, but not the completeness of me. Agh. Maybe it’s easier to just settle into one place. I jump around too much.

When you’re on trail things are simple. All you have to do is find water, eat food, walk a bit, and find a place to sleep. Straight chillin.