CDT Day 17 (6/4/23)

Miles 419.5 (Red line 536.3)- 448.6 (Red line 563.4) (29.1 miles)

Verbatim

It was really fun going up and over Mt. Taylor this morning. It’s wonderful being up high where it’s cool and where there are trees. There’s a Thing 1 (or 2?) from Dr. Suess at the top of Mt. Taylor attached to the sign. I wonder why! Coming down the backside of the mountain has been fun but a little monotonous. It’s a road walk which dips in and out of forested patches on the mountain. Mt. Taylor is cool because there’s a little volcano “hill” forming in the caldera of the blown open crater. It’s pretty fun to see that.

That’d make a cool city idea. The castle or palace is built on the central cone which leads to a lava world underground. The rest of the city slopes outward up along the sides of the blown out volcano. The city could be called “Caldera”. The front entrance to the city lay at the point where the ring of the caldera blew out to emit its lava flow. A wall rings the opening of the caldera. On the high mountain slopes is a palisade with watch towers.

Getting up into the trees has helped me be more imaginative today. I’ve been thinking about Runescape, a sign of simple pleasures. I’ve been thinking of buying the Yellow House on the lake. Of baking bread and pressing applesauce to sell at the Lewiston Farmer’s Market. Of playing Dungeons and Dragons with my friends in the Yellow House. Of owning a dog and a dock and a culling boat and a windsurfer. There’s tons of fun to be had. I could garden, and develop a path over to my parent’s and the Sheat’s neighborhood. I could set up a high tunnel. I could shoot deer that came to eat off my garden with blunted arrows. I could build a beautiful table with William in his parent’s shop. I could invite Paige and Aren and Chris and Sarah to visit and Hope and Nathan.

But right now I get to walk. And there are some long water carries coming up. 20-25 miles even.

I’ve cracked the code on why my testicles have been chafing. It’s my shorts, obviously. They’re shorter than the normal sorts I wear and have no under carriage support. There’s no “balls basket”. What this means is that my testicles are free to self regulate! Which is actually really nice and is what I wanted. Except for the fact that it’s so damn hot all the time in this desert. My balls are perpetually “dropped” as a way of keeping cool. This means that they hang down onto the center seam of my shorts. Because my left testicle hangs lower than my right (OH GOD) naturally, it’s the one that’s chafing. (I feel and resist body shame!!!!)

I just got to camp and hammered most of my wheat thins and hummus. Wheat things are like communion bread! I like that. :) It’s nice finding religious emblems when you’re not expecting it. I like religion. Trail feels very religious.

Post Note

This was a good day on trail, and stands as an example of what I’m doing in my mind when I’m feeling energetic and peaceful. I think about all the things I like. I think about fantasy worlds I can share with my friends. I think about the games I feel comfortable playing only when I think my other responsibilities are accounted for. I think about all the things I’m going to do when I get off trail. Lots of hikers talk about how creative you can be on trail. People are reassessing their lives, their values, and their goals while out on trail. It’s why we take new identities with our trail names. It’s why we walk for hours listening to each other express our deepest selves.

Understanding this gets to some portion of what’s at the heart of “post trail depression”. Post trail depression is real. I’m experiencing it right now. It’s the sort of space where you realize that nothing back home has changed in the way you have. It’s the realization that you don’t have unlimited freedom, or that you do but to exercise it would seem strange and uncouth to the people around you. It’s the fact that you’re weakening without the rigor of the walking. It’s the fact that there’s not the same people to talk to.

I’m totally gonna run a D&D world with that city in it. There’s going to be an evil Tiefling king on the throne with a secret thunder of dragon hatchlings hidden and incubating inside the magma of the volcano. Thinking of disturbing the volcano to kill the king’s dragons before they hatch to eat you? Well. You mess with it and the volcano’s gonna blow and destroy your city. So, choose wisely. If you play D&D with me and read this I need you to forget it. Ok. Thanks.

Also. I’d love to own that Yellow House one day.. It has the most beautiful position on the lake. It has the most scenic driveway. I ride my bicycle all the time when I’m home and it’s not winter (which seems rare). It’s my way of combating post trail depression actually. If I don’t ride.. damn I’m in a bad mood. Anyways, that Yellow House has a bunch of “private do not enter” signs on the driveway. But I don’t care. I make the loop anyways.