CDT Day 15 (6/2/23)
Miles 359.5 (Red line 436.8)- 392.3 (Red line 509.1) (32.8 miles)
Verbatim
It’s a rainy and blustery day here on this road walk up to the ranger’s station before Grants. It’s a nice variation to the normal pace of events. I started walking at 5:30 and though I slept very well I feel tired. I haven’t had very good food to eat today which is also wearing down my mood. Sort of like the rain that’s wearing down these sandstone cliffs at La Ventura Arch (What. What even is that comparison Andrew?). I think that I’m also feeling the additional anxiety of going beyond the miles I’d previously walked. I’ll resupply and eat in Grants tomorrow and then will hike on. There’s little reason for me to stay, especially since I’m anticipating several zeros in a row when visiting Jonathan. It feels important to remind myself right now to take things on trail one day at a time. This is still only the beginning of the journey.
I saw lots of really brilliant flowers today. In the even lighten of the overcast skies they were really delicately illuminated. I enjoyed taking their pictures. And there were so many different kinds up on the cliff side walk to the Arch overlook. I talked with a biker heading south on the GDMBT. I forgot his name but he’s from Tennessee. Lovely guy to talk to. I also chatted with a guy from CO whose doing a little CDT highlights tour. He said this as a better choice than the lava flow walk. I can’t remember his name either.
Im sitting here at the shaded picnic tables resting. I’m praying someone gives me something tasty or fresh to eat. I have 8.7 more miles left to walk on asphalt. I’ve come 24. I have salted plain couscous to eat, peanut butter, and peach oatmeal for the morning. It’s a time. This is thruhiking.
Ben was his name! And he gave me an avocado which went a long ways towards making my bland couscous yummy and more filling. I also pooped twice today! Yesterday I pooped three times, signs that my body is beginning to adjust. I need to eat a lot of healthy foods tomorrow in Grants. I can feel that my body needs it.
I suggested the trail name “Bliss” to Ben today. He’d referenced being out driving his van as a way of finding his bliss, and that walking was giving him the oppurtunity each day to experience past traumas which had or may not have been attended too. I like that and think it’s a true experience for many, myself included. Ben described trail as a place for clearing heads.
My testicle chaff is really bad this afternoon and evening. I stopped to pee but was rushed by an approaching car. When I withdrew my penis back into my shorts some urine dribbled down and over the cracks and crevices on my scrotum. It lit me on fire. I’m looking forward to taking a few days off.
Post Note
Yeah.. the chaffing was really bad. Thanks for bearing through the vivid description. It was what was happening. So I had to write about it. When your day’s stimulus is limited to walking and pain it IS what’s going on.
The CDT is not a trail known for its “trail magic”. Trail magic is the holy experience by which random people share with hikers. It’s really common on trails like the Appalachian Trail (AT) and Pacific Crest Trail (PCT). Less common on trails like the Continental Divide Trail (CDT). Non-existent as a “thing” people do on trails like the Pacific North West trail (which I haven’t hiked so I guess I don’t actually know) and the Oregon Coast Trail (which I have hiked so I do know). On the AT hikers learn to expect buffets of trail magic where kindly patrons lay out tables of drinks, hot cooked food, and praise and adoration. On the PCT it can be similar, though somewhat less frequent because the trail is more remote. By the way, the PCT really isn’t remote. It’s just that it’s not “immediate” in the way that the AT is. Trail magic is a really glorious experience because you, as a hiker, might come around a corner or out of the trees hungry, lonely, anxious, and sore and suddenly your creature comforts are cared for by the road crossing! Trail magic solves most of your problems because your problems are base and solvable. You were hungry. Now you are fed. It’s a wonderful way to be loved, honestly. A miracle even.
On the CDT you shouldn’t expect trail magic. Or, the trail magic you should hope for will be the kind of trail magic you actually deserve. Which is to say, nothing. I got an avocado from Ben. It was incredible. I didn’t ask further for the orange juice I could see in the back of his van. Nor did I beg for a ride into town. I had bland couscous to eat to keep up my strength. It was disgusting, but honestly the disgust of eating it could have been useful to break up the monotony of the evening’s road walking still left undone.
Thruhikers can be pretentious and demanding dicks. We are not heroes, despite what many people like to say to us. We chose a challenge because we had the financial and relational freedom to do it. Yeah it’s counter cultural, but only because our culture is lazy. We’re recreationally walking. We are partying down the trail! We’d love for you to come party with us and share some pizza. We’ll take you up on it every time. But, we are not in need unless we actually are. And if we’re actually in need you’ll be able to tell because we’re giving off the same sort of human expression that any human being gives off when they’re actually in need. Quite frankly, when we’re actually in need it’ll probably make you uncomfortable. That discomfort should be a sign that you’re called to help.
I get kind of pissy when I hear about groups doing “community service” or “good works” or “sharing the gospel”, whatever you want to call it, when they share trail magic. You like sharing with us because it’s fun, not particularly hard, and socially stimulating and rewarding. Go serve food where you feel uncomfortable. That’s probably where it’s needed. It’s also probably where you need to be. Be uncomfortable. And let us be uncomfortable too. Let us go hungry for a bit. It’s what we said we came out here to do.