CDT Day 77 (8/3/23)

Miles 1859.2 (Red line 2120.9)- 1872.1 (Red line 2133.8) (12.9 miles)

Verbatim

Today was a meh day. I’m in a cheap motel in Lima, MT. I’ve walked thirteen freezingly wet and cold miles into town. The shivering during that walk was incredible. The rain began only moments after I’d packed up my tarp. Which frankly was good timing. I slept well and warm. Things were set out to be a great day. A shuttle comes in and out of Lima at 9,11, 2, and 5. I would do a thirteen and be in by 11. I would resupply and be back by 2. I would do another fifteen miles. Alas, the rain.

I descended this morning into a verdant draw between Table and Little Table Mountains. But the grasses were so wet and tall, I was soaked within five minutes. It wasn’t even worth pooping, it was so wet and cold. At the bottom of the draw, a placed called Dirt Dirt Road, :) were three tents still up. I said, “morning” and walked right on. They had it right though. It was not worth getting up.

At the top of the climb was an open mesa with sage. Without the clouds and rain I would have complained of the heat. But, instead it was sooooo wet and cold. My rain jacket was soaked through. My fleece was sopping wet. When my shirt would peel away and then retouch my skin it was so cold.

I got to the highway twenty minutes early and waited under the overpass shivering away. I talked to some locals. Eventually the ride (I forget his name already) came. He had the heater on and it felt so warm. I almost fell asleep in the car. I managed to get a room at the motel because someone had cancelled. So, a hot shower and a room instead of crushing miles. That’s so frustrating, because I wan’t this trip to conclude.

Because I was so cold today I kept my hands well and snuggly kept in the stomach pouch of my fleece. So, there was no adjusting my shoulder straps. They were so painful, and my pack so heavy. I would cry out in pain while I walked. I thought I was losing my mind. Though frustrated sitting here now, I was well aware I needed to find a warm and dry place. The best experience today was the $2 hot chocolate I got from the gas station. That gas station will be an expensive resupply. I will do the next section in three days.

Patience.

Some White Tailed(?) Deer (It was definitely Mule Deer) bolted in the wet grasses this morning. I took a look over the grass bed that one made beneath the trees. I pulled my phone out to check the map under the protection of the branches. It was wet in my pocket, so that didn’t really work. There were also tons of little birds that couldn’t fly they were so soaked through.

I’m sitting in the Peat House now, having ordered a pizza and a side of vegetables. I’m excited to eat, and am very hungry. I’m hopeful for tomorrow. There’s two younger women here working the bar and a normal looking male in his 30’s working the grill. The grill is in the middle of the dining area. :) It shows my bias to be surprised to see younger people working here. But, where are these people coming from?! Who lives here? What are three lively and attractive people doing here?

I just talked to my brother! He’s about to finish his own pilgrimage on the St. Cuthbert’s way in Scotland. It’s a 60 mile trail. Go Jonathan! He’s so cool. He said it was fun, but that it’s harder than he thought it would be. Ha! He said he has a new respect for what I do each day (Oh! I thought this conversation happened yesterday. Retroactive imagination I guess). :) :) :)

Having forgotten my new pair of socks at camp two morning ago really sucks.

I’m in the bathroom this morning (8/4) trimming my upper mustache with my nail clippers so it doesn’t annoyingly dip into my mouth. I’ll spend all day twiddling those hairs with my tongue while I walk… I notice how uneven the mustache and beard look. I notice how long my chest, shoulder, and neck hairs are. It’s really horrible. These sort of things are for me, what make thruhikes a test of endurance and battle of attrition. I hate my own body hair and the feeling of being unkempt. I want to go home and rid myself of all this hair…

I also notice, as I’m packaging and moving plastic around in my backpack, that I use little plastic trash bags everywhere I go. To dispose of my non-plastic waste requires plastic. I can avoid the use of plastic cups, and body lotions, and washes in the hotel, but can’t avoid using the plastic lining in the trash can.

It’s a gas station resupply. And I am not excited about it. My backpack is so heavy. And is getting so full…

Damn this trip. Damn this idea. Damn this storm and the scratched top of my mouth from the hostess doughtiness I bought from the gas station and tried to eat because I was hungry when I got up.

When Monty (that’s his name) let me out here in town he tried to hand me two trekking poles. “They aren’t mine!” I said. Maybe Pond Bear forgot them when he was dropped off. Yikes. I wonder when he realized, and if he was able to set up his shelter last night.

Post Note

I hate body hair. I have body hair. If there was something I could change about my body it would be this. I think I got the idea somewhere along my path through American culture that body hair wasn’t sexy. And I, of course, want to be sexy. Who doesn’t? But body hair is also really annoying. It gets pulled, feels different than I’d like, looks awkward (I think), and when long generally makes me feel like I haven’t cared for myself. I hated my beard at this point in the hike as well. There’s a solid period between days one and four and days eight and twelve after a shave where I like the way my facial hair feels and looks. The rest of the time I don’t particularly have an opinion. You have to live through days five through seven to get to eight anyways. So it’s fine. But day seventy-seven+? Heck no. I hate it I hate it I hate it. But I never bought a cheap plastic razor because I would have had to carry it. Although, maybe my beard weighed more than a cheap plastic razor by day seventy-seven? I don’t know. I didn’t think about that on trail.

I think lots of hikers experience some sort of body dysphoria while on trail. Maybe not. I don’t actually know. But I would think that would be the case. But then maybe not. Lots of guys, like Pond Bear, take the opportunity to grow (or just reveal in the already grown) huge beards while out on trail. An effort to match with the mountain man astetic I suppose. You’ll see younger guys trying it too. Trail is their one chance as a young twenty year old to really commit to the bit and see what they’ve got. No one back home can shame them. Trail is wild. Female hikers will grow out their hair as well. There are different standards out on trail.

People lose a lot of weight. By half way through the trail most people find that the challenge isn’t so much to lose weight but to keep nourished. You need lots of calories. But you also need to find a way to ingest nutrients. It’s a battle against attrition. If you don’t eat enough you’ll find yourself catatonic against a tree or rock much more frequently than you need to be.

In regards to body image, and the experience of losing weight and muscle, it’s been said about trail that “the women have never looked better and the men have never looked worse”. All hips, butt, and legs for us hikers out on trail. It’s always leg day. Western beauty standards at work. Western beauty standards suck.